If you’ve been watching sports on NBC the past couple of weeks, you’ve probably noticed a ubiquitous countdown clock in the corner of the screen advertising “# days until El Clásico.†You’ve probably also wondered what the hell it is. Do all games get their own countdown clock? What makes this one so special?
Simply put, El Clásico is the single most expensive, most watched, and, objectively, the best sporting event in the world. It’s so huge it barely even needs a name—it translates simply to “The Classicâ€â€”and when it kicks off this Saturday at 12:15 P.M. EST, more people will be watching it than watch the Super Bowl.
Here’s everything you need to know about the largest, prettiest, ugliest annual spectacle in sport.
What is it?
El Clásico is the designated term anytime Barcelona and Real Madrid play against each other. They’ve done it 229 times already in 86 years, and it’s still not really clear who’s better: Real Madrid has 92 victories versus Barcelona’s 89, but who’s counting? You’re only as good as your last performance.
Barcelona and Real Madrid, I think I’ve heard of them.
They’re only, you know, the two single greatest franchises in the history of the sport, and probably always will be. If Manchester United, Paris Saint-Germain, or Chelsea belong in the Elite, then Barcelona and Real Madrid are the only two members of the Elite Plus. It’s the ’86/87 Lakers versus the ’95/96 Bulls.
How big is it?
Roughly 150 million people are expected to watch this weekend’s game—around 40 million more than regularly tune in to watch the Super Bowl.
You could say it’s also one of the most expensive games in the entire sports world. Real Madrid’s combined player salaries exceed $550 million. Barcelona’s roster costs $490 million.
Who are the notable players?
The star of Barcelona is Messi—arguably the greatest soccer player (or athlete) of all time. Madrid has Cristiano Ronaldo, who might not have Messi’s youth—or modesty—but makes up for it by endlessly scoring goals. Seriously. In 211 games with Madrid, he’s scored 233 times. That’s like a baseball player hitting at least one home run every game...for 233 games. It's unheard of.
The match’s supporting cast, meanwhile, would dominate just about any other team in the known universe. On Madrid’s side, there’s James Rodriguez, who set the World Cup on fire last year for Colombia. They’ve also got Welshman Gareth Bale, who’s a terrifying combination of strong and lightning-fast. In midfield there’s Luka Modric, who’s probably never missed a pass in his life. Defender Sergio Ramos is built like a tank but also scores some beautiful goals. He’s also fucking crazy. One time he says he nearly came during El Clásico. Also also, he once dropped a trophy off a bus.
Really. Here is the video of it.
And here's what it supposedly looked like afterwards.
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For Barcelona, there’s the deadliest three-man attacking front line in the game of Messi, Luis Suarez, and Neymar. Suarez scores beautiful, seemingly impossible goals for fun, and Neymar is so skillful it almost seems arrogant. He’s already been declared the Messi of the future by Barca fans.
But, you know, they still also have the actual Messi.
I’ve heard European soccer fans hate each other. I’m guessing that’s the case here, too?
Sure. Barcelona and Real Madrid fans are among some of the most unforgiving soccer fans in the world. But they don’t hate each other as much as they love turning on their own players or coach the instant they fall out of form: Madrid winger Gareth Bale was once booed by fans for weeks after he missed an easy pass to Ronaldo. One time. During a 3-0 win.
What’s on the line this year?
Like most years, everything. Barcelona has been most dominant in recent years, but if Real Madrid wins this weekend, they’ll knock them off the top spot in the Spanish league.
Unlike most years, Messi recently got injured. No one is 100 percent sure whether or not he’ll be healthy enough to play. He’ll be desperate to, and Barcelona will want to bring him back to make a statement, but if he’s not fully recovered, putting him in the firing line for the sake of the occasion is a HUGE risk.
Oh. So it sounds like there is a lot on the line?
You don’t know the half of it. There’s also the small matter of Madrid's Karim Benzema’s ongoing sex-tape scandal, which is too complicated to explain here, but might involve him blackmailing a French national teammate with explicit footage. And don’t get me started on the recent events in Paris, and the fact that there is now the looming threat of terrorism hanging over the game.
Who’s going to win?
Come on, man.
Should I watch it?
Duh.