How to Stay Married (book)
 | |
| Author | Jilly Cooper |
|---|---|
| Illustrator | Timothy Jacques |
| Subject | Marriage |
| Genre | Non-fiction |
| Published | 1969 (Methuen) |
| Publisher | Methuen |
Publication date | 1969 |
| Website | https://www.jillycooper.co.uk/books/how-to-stay-married/ |
How to Stay Married is a 1969 non-fiction work by English author Jilly Cooper. This was Cooper's first book and it uses humour to share guidance on marriage, from a wife's perspective. At the time of first publication the book was a bestseller and was described in a review in the Coventry Evening Telegraph as "forthright, uninhibited and irreverant". The book was reissued in 2011, forty-two years after publication to celebrate fifty years of Cooper's marriage. Reflecting on its content, Cooper described it as "terribly politically incorrect". Author Jojo Moyes reviewed it in 2011 with some warmth, but described many of its ideas as "pretty dated".
Synopsis
[edit]This non-fiction book uses irreverence and humour to share guidance on the institution of marriage, written from Cooper's perspective as a wife. It gives advice on the majority of aspects, including sex, weddings, honeymoons, working, cleaning and how to undertake difficult interactions with your husband's family.
Background
[edit]How to Stay Married was Cooper's first book.[1] At the time of its publication in 1969, Cooper had been married to her husband Leo for seven years.[2] Whilst writing it she was also working as a journalist for The Sunday Times and had a young baby.[3] Her contract for the book also only gave her three months to write the book.[4]
Reception
[edit]Published in 1969 to coincide with book sales for Christmas,[5] the book was a besteller on publication.[6] Terry Cross, writing in the Coventry Evening Telegraph in 1969, described Cooper's writing as "forthright, uninhibited and irreverant" and stated that those qualities were present in the book, but that the "more prudish may take a dim view of her opinions".[7] Another 1969 review in the 'Padre's Column' in the Wolverhampton Express & Star praised the book for focussing on qualities such as tenacity to ensure the success of a marriage.[8] The Huddersfield Daily Examiner described it as having "an amusing writing style that zips through marital problems".[9]
The book was reissued in 2011 to celebrate her Golden Wedding anniversary.[10] It was also republished in 2019, fifty years after it was published with a new foreword from Cooper.[2][10] Reflecting on its 2011 re-issue, Cooper described the book as "terribly politically incorrect".[3] She also discussed how she was appalled by some of the views written in it, but suggested that she was "writing in a different age".[2] Jojo Moyes described the book in 2011 as "humorous romp through married life, sex, rows, DIY and affaires" but also admitted that some of the ideas in it were "pretty dated" and it focussed too much on wives putting husbands first.[11] Katy Byrne, reviewing in the Irish Independent in 2018, described it as "old-fashioned, unapologeticaly sexist, and, at times, downright offensive. But it's also warm, witty and - whisper it - wise".[10]
How to Stay Married's depiction of marriage has been compared to the memoir Coronet Among the Weeds by Charlotte Bingham.[12] This is due to the depictions of 'Swinging London' common to both; the latter was adapted for television as No, Honestly.[12] Phrases from the book also appear in the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations.[13]
References
[edit]- ^ Metcalfe, Anna. "Small Talk: Jilly Cooper". www.ft.com. Retrieved 2025-04-24.
- ^ a b c Singh, Anita (2025-01-16). "I was a smug little know-it-all, says Jilly Cooper as she admits famous 'How to Stay Married' rules don't work". The Daily Telegraph. Retrieved 2025-04-24.
- ^ a b Flood, Alison (2016-09-10). "Jilly Cooper: 'People were always coming up to us at parties and asking us to bed'". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077. Retrieved 2025-04-24.
- ^ Cooper, Jilly (2011). "Introduction to the revised edition" (PDF). How To Stay Married. Penguin. pp. v.
- ^ "New releases". The Bookseller. 19 July 1969. p. 171.
- ^ Sweeney, Tanya (2018-05-31). "How to stay married - 'If you discover your husband is having an affair, play it cool'". Irish Independent. Retrieved 2025-04-24.
- ^ Cross, Terry (6 November 1969). "A child of her time". Coventry Evening Telegraph. p. 4.
- ^ "Marriage Motto: 'Be kind to each other'". Wolverhampton Express & Star. 15 November 1969. p. 6.
- ^ "On the lighter side of your marriage". Huddersfield Daily Examiner. 10 December 1969. p. 5.
- ^ a b c Byrne, Katy (2018-06-03). "The good marriage guide: Is Jilly Cooper's 'sexist' book on relationships in any way relevant today?". Irish Independent. Retrieved 2025-04-24.
- ^ Moyes, Jojo (2021-03-04). "How to stay married: Jilly Cooper interview". The Daily Telegraph. Retrieved 2025-04-24.
- ^ a b Irwin, Mary (2025-02-20). Love Wars: Television Romantic Comedy. Bloomsbury Academic. p. 74. ISBN 978-1-78453-346-5.
- ^ Ratcliffe, Susan (2010-03-11). Oxford Dictionary of Quotations by Subject. OUP Oxford. p. 251. ISBN 978-0-19-956706-5.