I think we need to send someone to go round and check on the BPI

The BPI is involved in a scheme called Get It Right From A Genuine Site. It's well meaning, kind of like a Sunday School teacher getting you to colour in pictures of Jesus holding a lamb and believing that this will stop you from becoming a bad person when you grow up. It's not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just it's so disconnected from how the world works.

Reg sits in front of his computer, about to torrent a dodgy Taylor Swift album.

"Hold on" thinks Reg, "before I do that, I should check the BPI's Get It Right From A Genuine Site site, just to check it is okay."

He checks the site.

He realises he is doing wrong.

He goes to Spotify.

He can't find 1989, so he sighs and goes back to the torrents.

There's a site to promote the campaign at getitrightfromagenuinesite.org - snappy, eh? - but this is where the BPI suddenly froze in panic.

What if someone started a site at getitrightfromagenuinesite.com? And they could fill that site up with things that aren't genuine at all. And the people of the UK, who have come to trust getitrightfromagenuinesite.org wouldn't realise, and MUSIC AS WE KNOW IT WOULD CEASE TO EXIST.

TorrentFreak has discovered that the BPI has binge bought all the domains it could find:

UK music group BPI owns the GetitRightFromaGenuineSite.org domain but to be doubly sure there are no imposters the group has also bagged at least 17 others, including the .audio, .band, .biz, .com, .digital, .email, .foundation and .net variants.

But what, worried the BPI, if people decided to try and parody our lovely campaign? What then?

And so, they fired up the registration site again:

TF discovered these domains while trawling through WHOIS records this week but it was more of a surprise to see that the BPI had also grabbed a bunch of ‘pirate’ versions too. As can be seen below, the BPI has secured the opportunity for people to GetitRightFromaPirateSite too.

Now, you could say there's wisdom in buying up a domain name that could work against you, but this is a pretty specific wording.

At time of writing, these domains are still available:

getitrightfromagenuine.site
getitrightfromagenuinesite.uk.com
pirateitrightfromagenuinesite.com (and all other variants)
getitrightfromatorrentsite.com (and all other variants)
getitfreefromagenuinesite.com (and all other variants)
getitrightfromaginuwinesite.com

You get the idea.

What makes this slightly less funny is that you're paying for this - despite the BPI being a cartel run by some of the largest businesses on the planet, the getitrightfromagenuinesite cybersplurge and the related activity is being paid for by the government.

Additional fun fact - you can still register a domain under the name BritishPornographicIndustry.

Chris Moyles tries to distance 'some of my best friends' style comment by saying he's aware it's a 'some of my best friends' comment

Miranda Sawyer delivered a sympathetic interview with Chris Moyles for yesterday's Observer; she was firm with him and, for his part, he came across warmer than he has for quite a while. Although he still tried to skip the difficult questions:

I ask him about being involved in a tax avoidance scheme, and he gets frustrated again. He gives me a very long explanation that boils down to: he thought it was OK and it turned out it wasn’t and he paid it back in full.

Yeah. Because if you're claiming tax for being a second-hand car salesperson, and you don't sell cars, what possible reason for thinking it might be dodgy could there be?

Sawyer talks about sexuality, and his apparent problems with it, and as in the past he reaches for his transgender friend as proof that he can't possibly be homophobic. He's tried this tack in the past, and has been derided for such an obvious "some of my best friends are..." pitch; but he seems to have come up with an answer for that:

“I’m not homophobic, but what can I say about that?” he says. “Whatever I say sounds like ‘some of my best friends are black’. Christ almighty, one of my best friends came out a couple of years ago as transgender. Simon is now Steph, which is fine. But I don’t know what to say about that. Because if I say the wrong thing, I’ll be crucified in Leicester Square.”

The trouble is, having gay friends doesn't 'prove' that you're not gay; not really knowing the difference between transgender people and gay people doesn't entirely make the case any stronger.

Let's just remind ourselves of Moyles' Will Young joke, shall we?

During the imitation the presenter adopted an effeminate and high pitched
voice.

When singing his alternative version of ‘Evergreen’, Chris Moyles broadcast the
lyrics: “It’s my birthday, gonna wear my new dress tonight. And I smell nice. I’ve had
a shower and I’ve shaved my legs. Going out later, might go to Nob-oooh for dinner.”

During the alternative version of ‘Leave Right Now’, Chris Moyles broadcast the
lyrics: “Oooh Will Young here, mmmmh. I’m here, it’s Will’s birthday and as the years
go by I get more very gay. When you saw me years ago you didn’t know, but now I’m
the gayest fella you probably know. mmm I like to wear a silly hat, I get camper by
the hour, oh would you look at the muck in here. I’m Will Young and I’m gay.”

But it's okay, because he's got one friend who is a transgender person.

I think all that really proves, Chris, is that Steph is more tolerant than you are.

David Cassidy won't be coming back

Sad times for David Cassidy fans, as he's never, ever going to come back to the UK because... well, he he didn't make very much money last time:

Asked by [This Morning] if he would be touring the UK soon, Cassidy, 65, replied: “Probably not. The problem is there is a 20 per cent foreign entertainer’s tax, and with everything else that it costs to go there – no, I don’t think so.
“I’d love to, but I ended up making $630 (£408) last time I went there, so it didn’t make a lot of sense.”

It's true, there is a tax on foreign entertainers, but it only kicks in if you make more than the UK personal tax allowance. If Cassidy ended up with less than five hundred quid, it seems that was less because of the tax regime and more... well, that he didn't make enough money in the first place.

Cassidy also bristled when asked about being bankrupt:

Speaking from the five-bedroom Fort Lauderdale house via video link, Cassidy became irritated when asked about reports that he has filed for bankruptcy.

“Are you trying to rubbish me?” he demanded in response to Holmes’s questions.

“When you declare bankruptcy in this country, it's something you do in order to reorganise what you have, your assets, so I'm not going to discuss that.”

The house sale “has nothing to do with declaring bankruptcy, that was a totally separate issue. I’m doing it because I’m in the middle of a divorce,” he said.

When Langsford attempted to steer the chat into less choppy waters by asking if Cassidy was glad to have the support of his fans during a difficult period, he snapped: “Don’t interrupt me,” before telling her nine times to “wait” when she tried to speak.

What a shame that he won't be coming back to Britain. What a loss.

Charlotte Church gently pats critics on the head

Whenever a well-off person says they'd rather pay more tax and see better public services, there's an immediate clamour of "why don't you just write a cheque to HMRC, then?"

It happened when Charlotte Church made a call for a more redistributive tax system. But Church is smarter than those who would honk at her. She sighed, and took to Twitter to roll her eyes at them:

I'm disappointed at the vitriol directed my way, if I gave 70% of my earnings to HMRC voluntarily, not only would it not last long as our public services cost 100s of billions to fund but I doubt it would encourage the richest in this country to get a conscience and follow suit. I have no ulterior motives. The injustice and inequality in society that is pushed further by this government makes me as angry as the hulk!

You'd have to be something of an idiot to think you could patronise Charlotte Church.

Could someone please tell Charlotte Church that punitive tax rates fail to raise extra revenues, but damage investment and employment?

— Roger Helmer (@RogerHelmerMEP) June 5, 2015

I think that proves my point.

You paid your taxes. Do you want a prize? Oh, okay then.

YoonA, K-Pop star, has been given a special prize from her government:

And now . . . she is the recipient of a presidential award from the South Korean government for being a dutiful and honest taxpayer who has made a significant financial contribution to her country. As part of the award she will be an honorary ambassador of Korea’s National Tax Service, helping to promote her fellow citizens’ duty to pay taxes.

In South Korea, you're celebrated for paying your share of tax. In the UK, you get an OBE if you don't.

Scott Stapp is very unwell indeed

It's a bit unfair that the headlines on the Scott Stapp story this morning focus on his threats to kill President Obama, which appear much more to be a symptom of some sort of mental illness rather than a genuine intention to take out the president. It's like hearing about someone with two broken legs and running a "Man refuses to go for a walk" headline on it.

Stapp appears to have developed a thing about Obama who he blames for pretty much everything:

"In 2012 I was doing a promotional tour for my book 'Sinner's Creed' and went on Fox News and expressed a little concern and disappointment with President Obama. Within two months of that public statement, that's when the IRS began to freeze my accounts," Stapp said. "I believe that the IRS situation is definitely a result of me expressing my dissatisfaction with President Obama. Absolutely, 100 percent."

If the IRS froze the accounts of every blowhard who went on Fox News to bitch about the president, they'd have to increase the workforce at Constitution Avenue to include the rest of the population of America. It's more likely - since Stapp also believes that someone else has been syphoning cash off his accounts - that the people who should have been looking after his tax affairs weren't.

Lewis Hamilton reckons he could have a go at music next

Lewis Hamilton, who is known for driving cars very fast, is planning to build on his fame as a fast car driver by making music. His plans are well advanced:

Hamilton says he is influenced by artists like Michael Jackson, Prince, Kodaline and Jay Z, as well as by his girlfriend, pop star Nicole Scherzinger.

Oddly, Hamilton doesn't mention the influence of the Arctic Monkeys or Gary Barlow, but they share a penchant for trying to squirrel money away so they don't have to pay their share of tax.

Bono: Low tax will save us all

Our old friend Bono granted a lengthy interview to The Observer at the weekend. It appeared in the New Review section, but really should have gone on the business pages it appeared to be marking the point where Bono shifted from apologist, to spokesperson, for capitalism.

Most notably, Bono attempted to justify Ireland's low tax regime as providing a route to prosperity:

"Look, Ireland is not going to back down on this,” he says. “We are a tiny little country, we don’t have scale, and our version of scale is to be innovative and to be clever, and tax competitiveness has brought our country the only prosperity we’ve known. That’s how we got these [tech] companies here."

Trying to use the lure of tiny corporate tax rates to build a prosperous nation is a bit like hoping to find a lasting, loving relationship by sticking your cock through a glory hole.

The companies opening their headquarters aren't actually headquartering there - generally, these tax-efficient operations consist of a bored person on minimum wage answering the phone with "no, we're not expecting Mr Cook in today" and a really, really huge shredding machine. (Although to be fair, Apple also have a room where they've stored all the unsold U2 limited edition iPods.)

The only local businesses who experience an uplift as being part of a low tax economy are brass plate engravers as the multinationals arrive, followed by a similar boost for carpetbag manufacturers.

U2 themselves are a pretty good example themselves - Bono, busily defending the idea that low corporate taxes are brilliant for Ireland did, of course, shift huge chunks of his own money over to mainland Europe when a more eye-catching low corporate tax rate waved a come-hither finger.

On that point, Bono is amusingly slippery, as he ignores the central problem - that he's shafted the country that he professes to love in order to save himself a few quid - by pretending that what's really upsetting people is the secrecy:

It isn’t a clandestine offshore tax haven, Bono insists. “All of our stuff is out in the open. How did people find out about it? Because it’s published. The sneakiness is when you don’t even know what’s going on.”

No, Bono. If someone livestreams themselves pissing through your letterbox, so you can watch as they do it, it doesn't make it alright.

It raises the alarming idea that when Bono watches a movie where the villain tortures the hero, but the villain starts by detailing what that torture will involve, Bono isn't horrified but reaches for the popcorn going "well, the cutting off of the arm and beating around the head has been publicly declared so I don't see there's a problem here."

Apple might be comfortably at home in Cork now - although the most generous headcount is 4000 Apple people, less than one-in-four of all their European staff. But people with longer memories will recall the tremor that ran through the area in 1999 when the globally nimble business realised it was better off making iMacs in Wales, taking two-thirds of the jobs across the border.

And Apple are probably amongst the most generous of the companies who have headquartered in Ireland - the Financial Times visited Endo, a pharmaceutical company who are now based in Dublin:

The global headquarters of Endo International is so new that, apart from a few desktop computers, the most visible purchase to date is the Nespresso machine in the kitchen. Located in the basement of a Georgian house in central Dublin, the company, which makes branded and generic medicines, does not even have a brass plate on the door.

Not even the brass plate engraver got a call.

Maybe the glory hole metaphor is the wrong way round, as Ireland isn't the one shoving its cock through the wall. It's on the other side, providing the service. And, sure, it's getting something out of the arrangement as long as it lasts, but everything could be pulled out without warning, leaving Ireland with a mess to clean up. And never able to look into the eyes of the person making the decision.

Gary Barlow would quite like to apologise

It's now three months since Gary Barlow and some of his chums were found to be "avoiding" tax by putting their money into a made-up scheme to allow rich people to shirk their responsibilities.

Gary has finally got around to sort-of-muttering an apology.

After three months. It's true, there are some operations you'd wait longer for on the NHS, but that's partly because rich people like Gary Barlow put their cash into dubious schemes to avoid paying their share of taxes.

Still, three months in the making, so let's hear it, Gary:

Three months. Two tweets. He's been writing his apology at 35 characters a week.

Three months. And what do we get?

I want to apologise to anyone who was offended by the tax stories earlier this year

There's no need, Gary. Genuninely no need to apologise, as nobody was offended by "the tax stories". In fact, we were grateful for the tax stories.

It's your tax affairs you ought to be apologising for, chuckles. The idea of very, very wealthy men investing in a company designed to lose money just so they could keep a few extra pennies out of paying for the police, and roads, and schools - that's what was offensive.

Not that you were found out and some people wrote about it.

And what does "working to settle things with all parties ASAP" even mean? Maybe you're going to write a cheque to the Exchequer - although I suspect if you were, you'd be a bit more explicit about that - but that doesn't "settle things", because it doesn't undo the fact that, when the nation was passing the hat round to pay for things we all share, your first thought was to try and avoid chipping in.

And you can't even bring yourself to say 'sorry' properly.

Leave your OBE on the hall table and sod off back to your mansion, Barlow.

Bookmarks: Arctic Monkeys

Luke Nightingale, in the New Statesman, on why it hurts more when the Arctic Monkeys choose to minimise their tax payments:

Their tales are of the streets we walked; streets that were built by public investment. They were born in NHS hospitals, attended state-funded schools. The Arctic Monkeys flourished as a result of incisive and witty lyrics of social realism that chimed with the everyman. And yet, any reference to civic pride from now on will be warped with bitter irony.

Gary Barlow to launch investigation into how he could have been avoiding tax

I think the most heartbreaking thing about Gary Barlow's response to his tax "avoiding" ways is that it's taken him months of knotted-brow think-clunking to come up with the "I know, I'll pretend that when I signed off on that scheme that was going to save me all that tax, nobody told me I was signing off on a scheme that was going to avoid tax" defence:

He is now investigating how accounting staff allowed his money to be put into the fund.

The singer has vowed to “leave no stone unturned”.

It's not clear yet whether Barlow has appointed a person to carry out this investigation into Barlow, but rumours suggest he might invite Gary Barlow to lead the inquiry.

A source close to the star revealed: “This is an incredibly complex issue and Gary is looking into it carefully.

"He is trying to get to the bottom of it."

'For instance, just yesterday, he went through one of the big chests stuffed with money and jewels to see if he could find any of the paperwork relating to the tax scheme.' (Pictured)

The "source" is keen to stress that there's no way that Gary could be expected to know what he was doing:

“Gary’s view is that he put his trust in the hands of financial experts. He is a musician, he knows nothing about money, he never has, so he entrusted people to advise him.

“He writes music and he sings and he pays finance ­experts to keep his money safe and do the right thing with it.

"Gary isn’t evil, he isn’t a money grabber and he is very upset about this."

Very, very upset. You know, how can you be expected to know when your financial advisors tell you that putting your money into a scheme will magic away your tax liabilities that that's a bad thing to do, right?

“He isn’t passing the buck ­either.

“He is trying to sort this out, to make sure others don’t find themselves in the same position.”

That's Gary Barlow, there, bravely not passing the buck by, erm, blaming his advisors and threatening to sue them.

You'll notice that Barlow's ire is directed at finding out who got him involved in the arrangements that got him into trouble. If he was really contrite, wouldn't he be trying to get sympathetic journalists to write about how he's investigating if he's been badly advised into joining other schemes?

That nice Gary Barlow has all our money

Ah, Gary Barlow. Isn't he lovely? Isn't he a lovely, lovely man? Isn't he just lovely, lovely, willing to help everyone?

Except when he, Howard Donald, Mark Owen and That manager Jonathan Wild are avoiding £20million worth of tax.

But he's lovely, isn't he?

In the past he has been praised for raising millions for charity in the UK.

Barlow’s fundraising efforts for BBC Children in Need included concerts with star names playing for free. In 2013 they raised over £1.7 million and were described by the BBC as “amazing”.

You see? He's lovely. Happy to help society by getting other people to give their money to try and patch up the holes created by people like him failing to fulfil their responsibilities. He's not a monster.

Lovely, lovely, Gary Barlow OBE.

Jason Orange hasn't avoided tax, although HMRC report that Gary Barlow's insistence that Orange is paid solely in mangelwurzels and turnips has always made it difficult to fix a rate at which he should be charged. Tax records show in 2012/13, Orange received a small tax refund in the form of three parsnips.

Abba explain the sequinned jumpsuits

So it turns out Abba wore those godawful stage clothes as a tax dodge:

According to Abba: The Official Photo Book, published to mark 40 years since they won Eurovision with Waterloo, the band's style was influenced in part by laws that allowed the cost of outfits to be deducted against tax – so long as the costumes were so outrageous they could not possibly be worn on the street.

So if you have a bunch of clothes that nobody in their right minds would be seen wearing under normal circumstances, you save a bunch on tax? Finally, Liam Gallagher's Pretty Green range is explained.

Lauryn Hill goes away

So, with the million in unpaid taxes finally catching up with her, Lauryn Hill has started her prison sentence:

Hill reported to federal prison in Danbury, said Ed Ross, a spokesman for the federal Bureau of Prisons. Inmates at the minimum security prison live in open dormitory-style living quarters and are expected to work jobs such as maintenance, food service or landscaping.

Landscaping? If they've got all their inmates landscaping, the prison grounds must look like Schloss Linderhof.

Gordon in the morning: Tax it like Rupert

Gordon raises a curious eyebrow at Keira Knightley's tax arrangements this morning:

FOR an actress famous for playing posh girls, KEIRA KNIGHTLEY lives a pretty frugal life.
Accounts just released show that despite being one of the highest-earning actresses in the world, the star paid herself just £30,000 last year.

That’s a long way from her total earnings.

Keira’s firm Kck Boo Ltd banked £1.5million through her films and commercial deals with fashion firms.

And the details show she has cut down on spending outside of her salary, too.
A source said: “Keira took home £20,000 in dividends from the company in 2012 and a salary of £11,000.'

Ah, yes. We should all take a close look at the extraordinary lengths Knightley's gone to avoid paying her fair share of tax - although, of course, she's not the only one.

Perhaps tomorrow Gordon might like to raise his curious eyebrow at this chart:

But maybe it's different when it's the boss, eh?

Gordon in the morning: Reducing tax

If there's one thing we know the Sun despises, it's beloved entertainers entering into measures, however legal, to reduce their tax bills. Just last October they were raging at freelancers working for the BBC:

IS the BBC helping thousands of its workers dodge income tax?

We now know it pays 4,500 “freelancers” though “personal service companies”.

This allows them to pay tax at about half the 40 per cent they could be clobbered with.

So, that's clear - going out your way to establish a way of reducing tax, in the words of The Sun "stinks to high heaven".

Oddly, though, that sense of outrage doesn't appear to extend to One Direction, where Gordon is almost tumescent with their tax moves:

LIAM PAYNE, NIALL HORAN, HARRY STYLES, LOUIS TOMLINSON and ZAYN MALIK have set up another business.

The latest company is called 1D Live LLP – a limited liability partnership.

Registering a company as an LLP means it won’t pay any corporation tax – which is usually a hefty 23 per cent on all profits.

Apparently, for some reason, this doesn't "stink to high heaven".

Perhaps it would only start to stink if they pay in performance fees they earn at the BBC?

Bono worries about the fiscal cliff

Bono is looking at the challenge facing the US economy as the Bush tax cuts expire, and frets about the fiscal cliff:

“There’s real jeopardy,” Bono said Wednesday at a discussion at the World Bank with bank President Jim Yong Kim. “I’m still terrified of people wrestling the wheel of this mad lorry that they’re driving off the cliff.”

Bono is afraid that the cuts made as the economy throbs through its change will hurt the poorest.

Interestingly, Bono's focus is on what shouldn't be cut, rather than who should be properly taxed.

Bob Geldof: Well, tonight, thank God, it's mine instead of yours

Who was the keynote speaker at the annual global gathering of Private Equity firms in Berlin last month?

Why, it was Bob Geldof.

Not just there because 'putting Geldof on the bill' is an easy way to pretend you're socially responsible and ethical, but also because Geldof is one of them:

He is now the chairman of an Africa-focused private equity fund which said earlier this month it had raised $200 million from investors, close to half its targeted size of $450 million.

Dubbed 8 Miles, the fund plans to invest in companies that can develop into "African champions" in sectors such as agribusiness, telecoms and consumer goods.

"We put together our little thing - a goldilocks thing, not too small, not too big, just right. And we will make a lot of money, a lot. For me I want to leave behind me firms, farms, factories. Fuck the money, that's me," Geldof said.

Geldof's fund is promising a rate of return of 25% - or, in other words, is promising to take a large chunk of any wealth created straight back out of the continent into the developed world.

But remember, Geldof's not really bothered about the money:

Geldof referenced the big payday of some of private equity's titans, including Henry Kravis and George Roberts, who got $94 million each in 2011 from buyout firm KKR & Co LP , in also making a wider case for philanthropy.

"You have got the four houses, the three jets, the 10 cars, the 65th fucking Picasso. What's the point? So its stuff, and right now it's the stuff that will get us out of that mess," Geldof said.

So, Geldof's big idea is that you encourage people to invest in Africa, to rake enormous profits out the natural resources and endeavours of those who live there, on the sort-of-off-chance that the people who've made all that money will decide they don't really need it and give some of it back?

Righto, Bob.

Because, as we know, it's not like Bob Geldof is greedy, is it?

In other news: Oh, look, Geldof's playing a tax dodge:

The country is missing out on more than £1bn in tax as the rich and famous have registered thousands of their exclusive properties into offshore companies, it has been revealed.

Town houses, mansions, vast country estates and castles are among the 94,760 properties which have been placed offshore, according to the Land Registry.
[...]
Rock stars Mick Jagger and Bob Geldof and Ringo Starr are among the many who have taken advantage of the loophole.
[...]
BVI companies own poverty campaigner Geldof's homes in London and Kent which his spokesman said was 'perfectly legitimate' tax planning and not a way to avoid stamp duty.

Ah, 'prefectly legitimate tax planning'. It's an irregular verb, isn't it?

I plan my taxes
You avoid your taxes
He dodges his taxes

Did I say that the private equity industry could cite inviting Geldof as an example of its social commitment? Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they should have avoided tarnishing their reputation by bringing him along.

We're all in this together (except Sting)

Sting made a massive loss in the year he's just published accounts for - over £20million quid.

Don't worry, though: before we start to have a whip-round, it was just an accounting move to save him from £2million worth of tax.

Because, hey, why should Sting pay his share like the rest of us?

U2: Suddenly, Glastonbury seems a much more appealing prospect

Things like this should really be announced before the tickets go on sale: Art Uncut are going to target Bono and U2 during their headline set.

"Bono claims to care about the developing world, but U2 greedily indulges in the very kind of tax avoidance which is crippling the poor nations of this world," said a spokesman for Art Uncut, a group with strong links to UK Uncut.

The One campaign has offered an attempt at a counterpoint:

A spokesperson for One, the anti-poverty campaign group co-founded by Bono, said: "U2's business arrangements have nothing to do with illegal tax evasion and transfer mispricing in developing countries, critical issues which Bono and One campaign on.

"One is currently lobbying for radical changes in the law that would require extractive industry corporations to report payments to governments, to ensure these substantial resources contribute to the domestic tax base instead of being stashed or siphoned off."

The One spokesperson misses about sixty-three points there. Sure, Bono and U2 aren't doing anything illegal with their tax arrangements. But, erm, neither are the extractive industry corporations, which is why they're campaigning for a change in the law.

A miner or oil person might ask, fairly, why Bono should object to them making the most of an arrangement which minimises their tax payout when he does exactly the same thing. Because it harms people in the country where they're not paying a fair rate of tax? But the same is true of Bono's actions.

Still, Glastonbury believes in stuff, doesn't it?

The organisers of Glastonbury festival declined to comment.

Not even a 'we hope they don't disrupt the performance but welcome their right to raise a matter important to them'.