Alex James: The big cheese is rotting

The Guardian's Lost In Showbiz returns to the flop of Alex James' cheese festival, which has gone bankrupt. And guess who's left out of pocket?

Erm, the local school. Marina Hyde explains:

But perhaps our greatest sympathy should be reserved for the local school, Kingham primary. The school organises its own annual music festival, and was asked to use its contacts to book performers for the Friday night at Harvest. It duly provided seven bands. (How quaint that the acts at Alex James's festival were being provided by the local primary. Does he not have a contacts book of his own?)

The school now feels unable to comment, but a couple of weeks ago, headteacher Ed Read told the Cotswold Journal that it was owed £7,000 for the entertainment it organised.

It's hard to believe that the idea of mixing music and cheese could produce a terrible festival. Perhaps it was the type of people the event attracted kept away larger numbers of punters?

Helpfully, Marina has a photo of the types who did show up:

Yes, that's a photo of Clarkson and David Cameron, enjoying themselves at the expense of a state school. An ordinary day for Dave, in other words.

Just when you think Alex James can't sink any lower:

He has also made several appearances to promote his Alex James Presents line of cheese at Asda. "It's generated something like £2m worth of publicity," he trilled recently. "It even made the New York Times! But I suppose that's what I set out to do."

Ah, hooking up with the not-entirely-cuddly WalMart organisation. Because we know what a great friend of the organic, local food movement WalMart are.

Chris Brown takes break from beating women to beat record shops

Apparently considering he has some sort of divine right to have his dull music stocked by all good retailers, domestic abuser Chris Brown is wailing that some shops won't stock his record:

"Just was at Walmart in Wallingford CT, 844 north colony," Brown tweetedon Saturday night. "The[y] didn't even have my album in the back ... not on shelves, saw for myself." Brown said he talked to the store's managers and "they didn't even know anything. Wow!!! But they had Alicia Keys album ready for release for this Tuesday comin ... the manager told me that when there are new releases it's mandatory to put em on the shelves ... BUT NO SIGN OF #GRAFFITI. BS."

Good lord, leaving aside the unpleasantness of both his criminal and musical records, what sort of sadsack goes sneaking round WalMarts looking to see if they have his record on the shelf?

He's been wailing for quite a while - this was him at the start of the weekend:

"I'm tired of this s---," Brown tweeted on Friday. "Major stores are blackballing my CD. Not stockin the shelves and lying to customers. What the f--- do I gotta do..." Brown later said he would not be retracting the comments after they quickly spread online, adding, "I'm not biting my tongue about s--- else ... the industry can kiss my ass." He also lashed out at "people who r constantly tweeting me wit bulls---," but did quickly apologize to his young fans for "all the cursing."

What the fuck do I gotta do, indeed, Chris Brown? How about not smashing women's faces in in car parks? Or perhaps learning a little humility?

Green Day don't want to go to WalMart

You'd have thought - given their target audience tends to be the sort who still go shopping with their parents - Green Day would be determined to do everything they could to make sure their new record, 21st Century Breakdown, would appear on the shelves of WalMart.

It's too their credit, though, that they have refused the edits the store demanded and taken the loss of not having the record in the stores:

[I]n Armstrong's view, "There's nothing dirty about our record."

"They want artists to censor their records in order to be carried in there," he said. "We just said no. We've never done it before. You feel like you're in 1953 or something."

There is a wider point, though: WalMart say in their defence that they won't stock Parental Advisory stickered product, and it's up to the bands involved if they want to make a version which avoids the sticker.

You could ask why Green Day choose to rail against WalMart for rejecting stickered content, rather than at the stickering process in the first place.

You might even ask that if you support Tipper Gore types who don't like sweary music, in fact. Because surely WalMart refusing to stock the parental advisory stickers is not just an indication of prissiness on their part, but also that the sticker system doesn't really work. Because if stickering did keep kids from "unacceptable" content, surely WalMart would be just as happy to sell Green Day's album to its customers as they are, for example, to sell them the SAW movies?

Do you think, Bruce?

Bruce Springsteen has admitted that, on balance, he shouldn't have tied up with WalMart, telling the New York Times:

Mr. Springsteen said the decision was made too hastily. “We were in the middle of doing a lot of things, it kind of came down and, really, we didn’t vet it the way we usually do,” he said. “We just dropped the ball on it.” Instead of offering the exclusive collection to Wal-Mart, “given its labor history, it was something that if we’d thought about it a little longer, we’d have done something different.” He added, “It was a mistake. Our batting average is usually very good, but we missed that one. Fans will call you on that stuff, as it should be.”

Hmm. You could just about see that if there were dozens of deals, with numerous regional chains, that one or two dodgy arrangements might sneak through. But suddenly realising "oh, hang about, our album is only being sold through a chain which is known for locking staff in overnight, and is profoundly hostile to unionisation" is on a par with waking up the morning after and yelling "but who knew Dick Emery was actually a man?"

Still, at least Bruce is admitting the error. Earlier, as the Times notes, there was a pathetic attempt to try and pretend there was nothing to see here:

In an interview with Billboard, Mr. Springsteen’s manager, Jon Landau, defended the release, saying Mr. Springsteen’s albums were already in Wal-Mart, which accounts for 15 percent of his sales. He also said: “We’re not doing any advertising for Wal-Mart. We haven’t endorsed Wal-Mart or anybody else. We’re letting Sony do its job.”

Ah, yes. Granting exclusive access to your album doesn't mean anything. In much the same way that just because I call you up, you shouldn't think you've got it made.

Why does Landau think the stores cut these lucrative exclusive deals with acts if they don't think it's going to bring extra footfall into their stores and boost sales at the tills?

WalMart are now a bit testy, issuing a hurt statement:

"Millions of Springsteen fans have counted on Wal-Mart over the years to deliver his music into their lives, and we will continue to offer those fans this 'Greatest Hits' exclusive and his other popular albums at unbeatable prices," Wal-Mart said in a statement, adding: "We are proud of the good jobs, benefits and career opportunities we provide to more than 1.4 million U.S. associates who choose to work at Wal-Mart and serve our customers every day."

And, they somehow forgot to add, just before Christmas they settled simply loads of the outstanding 73 class-action lawsuits brought alleging violations of laws on working hours and overtime payments. And, hey, with 1.4 million workers, it's not surprising that a Minnesota judge would have found two million violations of law by forcing staff to work "off the clock" or without breaks. You know, that's less than two violations per head, if you average it out. No wonder WalMart are proud.

Springsteen: Superstore On The Edge Of Town

Karl T emails with news of Bruce Springsteen's plans for his Greatest Hits album:

It's a while since I've listened to any of his stuff, but I'm sure that Bruce Springstein has written at least two albums of dirges about big business muscling mom-and-pop operations out of business, and the death of small town America that follows. It's heartening, therefore to hear that he's taken a stand and is refusing to allow his greatest hits package to be released through Wal Mart.

Oh, wait. Hang on, that should read 'his greatest hits package is only going to be available through Wal Mart'. The fucker.

And that girl he pulled out of the crowd during the Dancing in the Dark video? Total set-up.

Having heard his Santa Claus Is Coming To Town once too often during the festive season - which, actually, could be just once - being condemned to WalMart might just be too good for the man.

Staff announcement: Raging against the machine required aisle 6

I've always cherished the memory of seeing a Rage Against The Machine fan helping his Mum do the weekly shop in Asda, wearing his "I won't do what you tell me" tshirt while his mam sent him up and down collecting Dairylea Dunkers and Bisto granules.

So it's with some delight to discover that Asda and Rage Against The Machine have come together again, as a member of the electronics department in the Fulwood store decided to stick on Killing In The Name during shopping hours.

Customers were not amused at hearing "fuck" quite so often as they shopped.

Which, of course, would be quite enough of a story for most people - Asda looked awkward and said 'sorry', plans to get Peaches to perform in the coffee shop hastily dropped. Everyone happy?

Well, not really. This is a storm in a teacup, and so it needs some stirring. I mean, won't someone think of the children?

a song peppered with foul language was blasted out yards from a children's aisle.

Just yards from the bit of the store where the crayons are sold? Will the f-bomb now be ingrained in those crayons, perhaps leaking out every time a curly-haired nipper draws a picture of Jesus?

That's good, but what sort of fuss is it if there isn't a completely spurious parallel drawn by a councilor desperate to get their name in the local paper? Could the Lancashire Evening Post find one of those for us?

Preston City councillor Jennifer Greenhalgh, for Garrison ward, said: "I am absolutely appalled. They have got to take responsibility, and that is not being responsible in any shape or form."

Coun Greenhalgh said the supermarket's gaffe is comparable to the recent scandal involving Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross, who broadcast a lewd answerphone message on BBC Radio 2.

She said: "It is insupportable and, like the BBC, somebody has to be held to account. Children now are open to all sorts, but to get it from Asda is ridiculous.

Yes, it's exactly the same as Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand, as someone who wasn't there is calling for heads to roll on the basis of a sense of wounding they can't quite justify. Children shouldn't have to have all sorts thrust at them in an Asda. Except in the sweets aisles, of course.

But look: the outrage is starting to wane - can't we add some confused self-appointed guardian of the nation's morals to try and keep this going?

John Beyer, director of Mediawatch UK, said: "Asda should issue a policy statement to say this kind of music should not be played. I have never heard of this before."

Yes, come on Asda: do as the bloke from Mary Whitehouse's old gang says - remove that policy which encourages staff to play songs featuring profanities. He has never heard of "this" (what? the song? people choosing their own music at work with unfortunate results? supermarkets? the 21st century?) before.

Naturally, Lancashire Evening Post readers - god-fearing clean-living types to a man - probably won't have heard of the Raging Machine band. Can you bring your readers up to speed?

In September, Rage Against The Machine, sparked protests after they were not allowed to perform at a political rally in Minnesota.

The left-wing rockers had planned to play at a convention called the Ripple Effect all-dayer, which was held to coincide with the Republican Party Convention. When prevented from playing the band marched through the streets with a megaphone, as fans chanted their songs.

Very, very possibly, those people chanted the song with the rude word in. Sadly, the Associated Press coverage of these incidents don't record how close the chanting crowds came to the children's aisle - nor, indeed, if they might have been secretly funded by Wal-Mart.

I'm not sure the Lancashire Evening Post believes that Zac and his mates will react to being thrown off the shuffle on the electronics store CD player by marching on Fulwood, yelling rudeness through a megaphone like some sort of fuming Ty Pennington, but they do seem to imply that might be a risk here.

Luckily, though, the paper indulges in a spot of investigative journalism: has Asda learned its lesson, or have they added Touch Me I'm Sick to the playlist?

When the Evening Post visited the supermarket, Asda FM – which broadcasts to all its UK stores – played a variety of family-friendly songs on the PA, including Love Me Do by The Beatles and We've Got Tonight by Bob Seger.

Isn't that Seger song about having a one night stand? Would MediaWatch approve of children having their ears stuffed with a song like that? I can't believe that at the crucial moment, the Post suddenly goes soft on premarital sex.

[Thanks to Simon T for the story]

WalMart relents; keeps DRM machine pulsing

Oh, poor WalMart, hoping to save a couple of dollars by switching off their DRM servers, even although it meant their customers would suddenly find their legally-purchased music collection was broken.

The trouble is, of course, the internet is full of meddling kids, and so after being made to look crooked, now WalMart is having to back down:

Based on feedback from our customers, we have decided to maintain our digital rights management (DRM) servers for the present time. What this means to you is that our existing service continues and there is no action required on your part. Our customer service team will continue to assist with DRM issues for protected windows media audio (WMA) files purchased from Walmart.com.

While our customer support team is available to assist you with any issues, we continue to recommend that you back up your songs by burning them to a recordable audio CD. By backing up your songs, you insure access to them from any personal computer at any time in the future.

We appreciate your support and patience as we work to provide the best service possible to you. As we move forward with our 100% MP3 store, we'll continue to update you with key decisions regarding our service and your account via email.

Thank you for using Walmart MP3 Music Downloads.

The Walmart Digital Music Team

That noise? Oh, that would be the sound of Sam Walton's ghost typing through gritted teeth.

Another DRM switch-off: Wal-Mart wipes record collections

It's not that the music industry and its commerce friends laugh at you when you buy DRM-wrapped music or anything. But they might snigger just a little. Wal-Mart is switching off its DRM servers, reports Boing Boing, rendering all the legally purchased tracks its been selling effectively worthless:

Important Information About Your Digital Music Purchases

We hope you are enjoying the increased music quality/bitrate and the improved usability of Walmart's MP3 music downloads. We began offering MP3s in August 2007 and have offered only DRM (digital rights management) -free MP3s since February 2008. As the final stage of our transition to a full DRM-free MP3 download store, Walmart will be shutting down our digital rights management system that supports protected songs and albums purchased from our site.

If you have purchased protected WMA music files from our site prior to Feb 2008, we strongly recommend that you back up your songs by burning them to a recordable audio CD. By backing up your songs, you will be able to access them from any personal computer. This change does not impact songs or albums purchased after Feb 2008, as those are DRM-free.

Beginning October 9, we will no longer be able to assist with digital rights management issues for protected WMA files purchased from Walmart.com. If you do not back up your files before this date, you will no longer be able to transfer your songs to other computers or access your songs after changing or reinstalling your operating system or in the event of a system crash. Your music and video collections will still play on the originally authorized computer.

Thank you for using Walmart.com for music downloads. We are working hard to make our store better than ever and easier to use.

How could you make a store better than one where you pay money in good faith for a product, only to discover that the store can't be arsed to actually allow you to enjoy those goods? Admittedly, you're fine providing you use the same computer for the rest of your life, so it's not all bad.

Axl Rose has a sense of irony, it turns out

According to the latest informed rumours, Guns N Roses are thinking of bringing Chinese Democracy to the market through an exclusive deal with a retail chain.

Wal-Mart are leading the bidding for the role - fitting, of course, since most of their stuff is made in China and their approach to their staff and customers pretty much apes that of the Chinese government to democrats.

Best Buy are also taking part in the talks, but WalMart makes more sense - people could pick up their free Dr Peppers while they're there.

DMX caught

The ever-fascinating world of DMX turns another corner: having failed to turn up to one of his many court dates (this one for drug-related charges in Arizona), DMX got arrested in a WalMart car park. In Miami Beach.

No money shifting CDs

The physical music market has lost a major company this week, with the announcement that Handleman will handle CDs no longer. They're the US company whose main interest in the music industry was shipping products to WalMart stores. Their official announcement makes it clear that they don't see much profit in the business in future:

As to the timing of our decision, we took into consideration a number of factors, including indications from existing customers of their reluctance to maintain long-term relationships with multiple music distributors in a shrinking market, a growing question in our minds whether our key music suppliers would provide trade terms sufficient for us to support our customers for the peak holiday shipment season, and uncertainty whether our credit agreements would permit sufficient liquidity to operate normally through the upcoming Christmas season if our suppliers did not return to historical trade terms.

"Taking all these factors into consideration, we determined that exiting the North American music business now, in the transactions announced today, was in the best interest of our customers, vendors, employees, shareholders and other stakeholders. We regret the impact of this decision on many of our employees, and will do our best to assist them at this difficult time. We also will work with our valued customers and vendors to achieve a smooth, seamless and timely transition."

The bad news is for the 260 people who will be entering the US job market at a time when it's nowhere near its strongest.

The glimmer of hope, though, is Handleman's suggestion that the market isn't quite dead, but can no longer support "multiple" distributors.

The worry for the industry as whole, though, is the hint that the major labels are no longer in a position to offer stock on credit - even to its largest customers - in anything like enough quantities to allow it to function.

The conclusion is not that there is no market for records; but that the market is small, shrinking, and might become a specialist niche. After years of the big retailers crushing out the small, specialist stores, we could be about to see a major reverse.

Apple at the top of the tree

Although it's as much down to WalMart cutting back its CD ranges as growth in the iTunes store, last month Apple became the biggest music retailer in the US. According to Ars Technica, nearly one out of every five songs sold in America comes through iTunes.

WalMart and Target turn Pepsi blue

The link-up between Pepsi and Amazon to give away squillions of free mp3s has hit a problem: US Retailers have taken the hump at giving shelf-space to a promotion for a company they see as a competitor.

This is bad for Pepsi - in-store pushing of the free mp3s has been scanty at WalMart and Target - but worse news for Amazon who have been airbrushed out of the picture to keep retailers happy:

In an apparent response to retailers’ concerns, Amazon’s name has been banished from the front of Pepsi bottles carrying the promotion – rendering it invisible in supermarket aisles to passing shoppers.

Similarly, Amazon’s logo is on the back of cardboard multi-pack cartons of cans that are stacked on the shelves of mass discounters and supermarkets, next to the product’s bar code and nutritional information.

Considering this was Amazon's big push to trumpet its new download service outside of the Geekosphere, that's got to be a big let-down. No figures yet on how many tracks have been given away.

Wal-Mart to RIAA companies: We'll cut prices, you pay

CDs. The music industry loves CDs. Not like nasty download products, the CD has been good to the RIAA companies.

Up until now: The decline in physical sales has reached a point where WalMart has told the labels that the only way it's going to continue to flog CDs is if they can cut prices quite substantially. Oh, and it wants the labels to bear the weight of the price cut:

Executives at the Bentonville, Arkansas-based discounting giant wouldn't comment on the specifics of their promotion, but Wal-Mart divisional merchandise manager for home entertainment Jeff Maas acknowledged the proposal. "When you look at sales declines with physical product, and you have a category declining like it is, you have to make decisions about what the future looks like," he said. "If you have a business that is declining and you want to turn it around, it really takes looking at it from all angles."

The WalMart proposals - according to those who know - will shift prices from just over £5 or just under £7 to a five-tier pricing system with a bottom line of £2.50 and a top price of £6. It's unlikely the labels will be thrilled at the suggestion, but as the biggest retailer of music in the US, there's not going to be much they can do about it.

iTunes moves up to number two

Here's some figures which show why the majors are desperate to try and find someone, anyone, to take on iTunes with a serious proposition: Apple is now the second biggest music retailer in the US, bested only by WalMart, according to NPD Group. And that's without selling any CDs at all.

Equally alarming for the companies which cling to their old business models: 48% of American teenagers didn't buy a single, physical record in 2007.

The good news for musicians, though, is that Americans bought 6% more music last year than they did in 2006.

It only takes a Midem, girl: MIDEM 2008

This weekend, the music industry is gathering for its annual back-slap and tax-write-off in the South of France at Midem.

Yes, yes, it's funny how an industry which can only be saved by changing the centuries-old relationship between creative people, the public and copyrights can still afford to have a big old bunfight in one of the most expensive places on Earth, isn't it?

The first big announcements of the event has come at a session with Vivendi CEO Jean-Bernard Lévy, who signalled that Universal is still fond of DRM, reports PaidContent:

"We are still testing (DRM-free models) - but our policy is still that we are strongly attached to DRM, especially for advertising-based models and subscription-based models."

Levy also predicted that CDs have a long - if not entirely glorious - future:

“People for many years will still buy physical products from shelves ... in Tesco and in Walmart. There is a very large segment of consumers, a very wide population that will still buy physical products. But we also understand that there is a decline. I believe there will be sales of physical products still for many years.”

We're not sure, judging by how Tesco and WalMart are reigning in their CD rackspace, that the stores feel that their customers are going to be buying physical products from them for very much longer. Nobody apparently asked him how this large segment of CD-buying punters can exist if the threat of download piracy is so great, but then much of the audience for Levy's speech is drawn from those of similar degrees of inconsistent thought.

Assuming anything else happens at Midem worth mentioning, we'll build a mini-index here
Sony BMG favour all-you-can-eat model
Harvey Goldsmith realises something's up
Qtrax: Legal peer-to-peer service announced
YouTube want to hand out cash... what's stopping them?
QTrax falls apart
RoyaltyShare threatens traditional collection agencies
QTrax: the "ink is not dry"
SpiralFrog battles bravely on
U2's camp calls for ISPs to be punished
John Kennedy wants broadband switched off for bad boys
QTrax: was it all a stock stunt?
FT smells restraint; misses QTrax's funny smell
Orange being hobbled by DRM

1,000,000,000 free songs for the taking

Some crazy give-away madness from Amazon is being set up next year: a billion free MP3s.

Well, up to a point - Pepsi are planning a promotional push that will see five billion of their products shipping with a code; five codes will be swappable for a free mp3 download off Amazon. We'd imagine that Pepsi will be somewhat upset if every single bottletop gets used to grab a free track, even at the 40 cents that Amazon is trying to persuade the labels to accept in return for the songs.

Certainly, experience from both MyCokeMusic and a Pepsi/iTunes tie-up suggests that dentists will see more action as a result of the pop-and-pop linkage than will Amazon.

In other mp3 news: WalMart is rumoured to have told labels that if they don't start to provide them with un-DRMed tracks, they'll find walmart.com won't be stocking their wares.

Hold your horses: BOH turn down Wal-Mart

While Of Montreal has brazened out criticism of their T-Mobile campaign by saying red-blooded capitalism is great, Band of Horses have had second thoughts after they did one deal with WalMart and turned down a much larger deal:

"I called my family, talked to my girlfriend about it, talked to the guys in the band and decided it's no big deal," [Ben] Bridwell said of the initial decision to license the song. "We tested it with that Web site thing that I figured nobody would really even see. But in the Internet age, you can't do anything without someone catching wind of it.

"Some fans, they don't even give a crap. They're like, 'Whatever, bands got to get paid.' But at the same time, I was reluctant to do it in the back of my mind, and some fans reminded me there is a reason to feel that way about it.

"So once I saw our fans were let down by it, I nixed the TV commercial, and said, 'You know what, this isn't for me. Keep your money.'"

Arguably, dealing with Wal-Mart, a body who have happily censored the music they're prepared to sell in the past, is a lot dodgier than doing a deal with T-Mobile, who have at least poured a lot of their sponsorship into music directly. Even so, turning down a large cheque for a small band is still a big decision to take. Principles in 2007. Whoever would have thought?

Hell freezes over; Eagles and WalMart benefit

Another one of the thousands of tiny cuts for the majors' current business model: in order to avoid the embarrassment of a high-profile, best-selling album not qualifying for the charts, Billboard have made an eleventh hour rule-change to album eligibility.

So, the old rules about records having to be "generally available" to count have been dumped and the WalMart-only Long Road Out Of Eden takes the US number one spot.

Of course, it was ridiculous to pretend that a record on sale in one of the seventy-eight squibbilion WalMarts wasn't "generally available" in the first place; but if records sold in one supermarket only can count, then it's hard to see how any other retailer's exclusive deal can be frozen out of the chart. And, of course, if you've cut a deal to have a store as sole distributor, why not get them to release the thing as well?

If Billboard apply these rules fairly and equitably, for example, those stores who do their own celebrity Christmas albums should see those being reflected in the charts.

Billboard might think its changed the rules for The Eagles; it's also shifted them for the RIAA companies.

Madonna prepares the jump

If the excitement about Radiohead's album seemed excessive, wait until the final deal between Madonna and LiveNation gets signed - sometime quite soon, according to the New York Times.

Elsewhere, at the end of the month, The Eagles launch a new album, Long Road Out of Eden. The band are releasing it themselves, and pushing it exclusively through - mmm, classy - WalMart and Sams Club in the US.